ALF Season 4 Episode 3 "Wanted: Dead or Alive"

When I was a little kid I loved ALF. I had ALF pajamas and sheets. No t-shirts, toys, or even an ALF toothbrush; just jammies and bedspreads. I have never figured out why my love for ALF manifested itself exclusively in sleep apparel. You would think an alien life form that feasted on house pets would be the last think to ease a little boy into slumberland, but not for little Kev. Despite my early affinity for ALF, I don’t really remember much about the show outside of the fact that he loved to eat cats and he looked like an Ewok playing Cyrano de Bergerac. Now, thanks to the gods over at Hulu.com, I can watch every episode to jog my memory. So throw on your ALF PJs and grab your blankey as I revisit our old friend from Melmac.

"A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man."

0:00- ALF ruined a T.V. show by talking through it. I now know who to thank, ALF you are my biggest influence.

1:14- Looks like Willie Tanner went through a Warhol phase.

1:45- Was ALF making them watch his acting reel? Not only does this family have to put up with his shit they have to politely pretend he is a good actor.

2:38- Hey it’s Jerry Seinfelds mom!

3:27- It means going down on her, duh.

5:39- “Why didn’t I go away for college?” I don’t know terrible grades, broke family, a secret love affair with ALF? I’m going to go with the last one, there is already way to much sexual tension between the two of them.

6:00- Sweet tie dye shirt, brah! I’m beginning to think ALF isn’t an alien at all just “that” uncle.

8:53- $10,000! You can buy a lot of Tommy Bahama shirts with that kind of scratch nefarious neighbor.

9:05- Face transplant? ALF I was only kidding about the Cyrano crack earlier, you are beautiful my friend.

9:10- Ohhh, it’s for Willie. Wait a minute, didn’t they just complete the first face transplant a few years ago? (quick break for Wiki search) …aaaaand… The first successful face transplant was performed last year in Spain. If memory serves me correctly, however, I remember hearing something about a face swap in the 90’s involving Nick Cage and John Travolta.

9:56- ALF took all of Willie’s shoes. He is like raising an abused foster kid.

10:30- Whoa! David Allen Greer. He just called polygamy the biggest charge, hahaha! Willie Tanner would have his own awful reality show today.

11:58- At least there will be plenty of cats in that Chinese deli, ALF.

12:48- Damn, check out the pedophile convention in the interrogation room.

14:58- That guy is betting on himself to win the pool on who really is the perp, way to hedge your bets Charlie Hustle.

16:05- Willie is a social worker? So does that mean ALF really is an abused foster child?

17:00- By the looks of that shirt I’m going to guess Brian is a fan of dub step.

18:53- This is the sincerest human/alien moment on T.V. since Mindy kissed Mork.

20:05- Gaddafi joke. The first thing all episode that isn’t completely dated.

21:05- ALF throws on his Sammy Hagar wig and heads on down to the corner to listen to some rap music with the bros. What a wrap to an episode, I miss the lazy old days of sitcoms.